the sea x love

Dedicated to the 600,000 Palestinian men, women, and children who lived in Lebanon from 1948-1983.

I didn’t know and nobody told me and what

could I do or say, anyway?

They said you shot the London Ambassador

and when that wasn’t true

they said so

what

They said you shelled their northern villages

and when U.N. forces reported that was not true

because your side of the cease-fire was holding

since more than a year before

they said so

what

They said they wanted simply to carve

a 25 mile buffer zone and then

they ravaged your

water supplies your electricity your

hospitals your schools your highways and byways all

the way north to Beirut because they said this

was their quest for peace

They blew up your homes and demolished the grocery

stores and blocked the Red Cross and took away doctors

to jail and they cluster-bombed girls and boys

whose bodies

swelled purple and black into twice the original size

and tore the buttocks from a four month old baby

and then

they said this was brilliant

military accomplishment and this was done

they said in the name of self-defense they said

that is the noblest concept

of mankind isn’t that obvious?

They said something about never again and then

they made close to one million human beings homeless

in less than three weeks and they killed or maimed

40,000 of your men and your women and your children

But I didn’t know and nobody told me and what

could I do or say, anyway?

They said they were victims. They said you were

Arabs.

They called      your apartments and gardens      guerrilla

strongholds.

They called      the screaming devastation

that they created   the rubble.

Then they told you to leave, didn’t they?

Didn’t you read the leaflets that they dropped

from their hotshot fighter jets?

They told you to go.

One hundred and thirty-five thousand

Palestinians in Beirut and why

didn’t you take the hint?

Go!

There was the Mediterranean: You

could walk into the water and stay

there.

What was the problem?

I didn’t know and nobody told me and what

could I do or say, anyway?

Yes, I did know it was the money I earned as a poet that

paid

for the bombs and the planes and the tanks

that they used to massacre your family

But I am not an evil person

The people of my country aren’t so bad

You can expect but so much

from those of us who have to pay taxes and watch

American TV

You see my point;

I’m sorry.

I really am sorry.

Given everything that’s going on in the world right now and the start of a new year and decade, a time that we focus intentionally on new beginnings and the hope of a brighter/better world, a time we strive and try to create better lives for ourselves, but given what’s happening– what is reality, my mind immediately recalls June Jordan’s poem Apologies to All the People in Lebanon (above). I often return to this particular poem because it conveys a sense of helplessness to the immensity of the problems going on in the world, care and love for others specifically when those problems are sourced by one’s own government, and anger towards the government, peers, and news sources that perpetrate and promote propaganda. In times like this it’s easy to be afraid of an impending war, but US wars don’t affect US residents they same way or nearly as bad as the way they affect the residents of the countries the US attacks.This doesn’t mean that we can or should relax or breathe a sigh of relief because the US’s wars affect our friends, family members, and peers especially those that look like a perceived idea of what the US’s enemy looks like; and the goes for wars abroad and those here on the continent.

The hopelessness that I’m currently feeling is rooted in more than just war and the violence imposed on BIPOC communities, it’s also coming from the climate crisis rooted in continuous intentional environmental racism and greed. The world is quite literally on fire (see: the Amazon and Australia) while others are drowning (Indonesia and Oceania) or sinking (Venice). Waterways are polluted in communities beyond Flint (see Baltimore, Philadelphia, and countless small towns) while available water sources are constantly privatized for commercial gain. Air quality across the globe continues to choke out communities in India, China, and Australia. I truly believe that individuals can make a difference (especially in consumerist focused societies like the US, where waste is excessive) but we also need to work together. The climate isn’t going to stop changing because you or I stop eating meat or avocados or stop using plastic straws. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stop doing those things especially if we’re completely able to do so. Individuals also need to hold companies, elected officials, and our peers accountable, like actually hold them accountable. I’m not gonna lie, I also need to be 100% better at this, there is always room for improvement. I try to lead by example and be as honest and open as possible, which is part of the reason that I revived this site for the upteenth time. 

So…. each year I actually do make New Year resolutions, but for the past 5-7 years they essentially haven’t changed much. Some of them are health related, because I had a number of health issues as a child and some diseases can be mitigated and managed with an intentional diet; some are faith related; and some are more political, like being more sustainable and politically engaged and active. In reality these are all related. They’re not really cut and dry resolutions and I’ve kept them the same because changing behavior and creating habits takes time and intentionality.

Over time I will return to this post, poem, and the thoughts and feelings expressed here, but for now I’m going to pause.